just a little something to brighten your day!
The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute. She said, "Well, I've been trying to find the right husband. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, has a great sense of humor and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for. A good mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map again."
The new army recruit was given guard duty at 0200. He did his best for a while, but about 0400, he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment, looked upward and then reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"
Last week, the windshield on my car had to be replaced after an encounter with a rock. While talking to the gentleman who arrived to do the work, I found that he had been in the Navy. When I asked him how he liked it, he said that it was all right but he was glad to be out after serving his three-year enlistment. Then, with a mischievous smile, he asked if I knew what "NAVY" stood for. I had to admit that I probably did not. He said, "Never Again Volunteer Yourself!"